Personal Warfare

in my mind, giving up is rarely, if ever, an option. this applies to just about every area of life for me, and though some may consider that an admirable quality, i can think of many instances when it's done more damage than good. there seems to be a fine line one walks in this regard. on one side we have heart, and on the other we just have don't-you-know-when-to-quit stupid. even at my age i'm still trying to learn how to persist without crossing the line, whether it be with people or unattainable goals i sometimes set. not sure if it's the same for everyone or if i'm unique in that sense, but i'm sure i'll figure it out one day.

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so i've been training pretty hard the last two weeks, slowly trying to regain what i let the holidays and laziness rob me of over the past couple of months. it hasn't been easy, but in the last week or so i finally feel like my legs are starting to come around, respond, and repay me for the effort i'm putting in. there's definitely a wall i had to break through where i wondered what exactly the problem could be. feeling sluggish in the hills and not having the will to challenge myself on long, flat sections had me a little concerned and wondering whether or not i was going about it the right way. but i guess it just happens that way after a layoff. not only must you reacquaint yourself with the routine, but you also have to remember what you're capable of and what it takes to get there. that, unfortunately, is something i seem to have to remind myself of at some point every year.
as with most things for me, the battle is primarily a mental one. and as rough as it has been at times in the early going, i think i've got a handle on it now. the practice race on sunday went a long way towards restoring my confidence, and because of that i'm feeling like i can push myself as hard as i want when training.
this entire week has been great so far, and while my endurance level is still questionable, i definitely feel the improvement both mentally and physically.